Being Chandler Bing!

Mathew Perry's passing away was not unusual considering the lives celebrities live. But it was Chandler Bing, nah he wasn't my favourite in the show and I don't think he was a favourite of many out of the six . He was the most ordinary, most average, least eccentricities, most awkward! Yet his passing away created an uproar...nah it isn't social media gimmick!

Chandler Bing was a part of our lives since decades. Ordinary, awkward, shy...the fact that he is no more has created such a vaccum of the friend, who's always there, the ordinary friend who listens, the introvert friend who's there to fall back to. I think that has taken the world by storm. His absence, dug out a big vaccum, which was under wraps by his presence. Nobody's favourite, everyone's taken for granted buddy...but his absence suddenly showed us what he meant to us! The show is off the air decades now, but for most of us for some unplugged laughter, for some mood upliftment, any season any episode just led one to a riot of laughter and took us off from our lives.

I was thinking what was about the show, what was about Mathew Perry...what set it apart. I read someone's comment 'Friends' was actually a show which made being awkward, being bullied, having complexes, jealousies, failures...cool. The things we learn to keep under wraps, our embarrassment, our failures, losing friend to someone...the characters actually dealt with that without inhibitions. It was like a revelation that people in that chic city actually lived through the pain, frustration we do. The six characters had their eccentricities and yes I watched it for fun and laughs with occasional romance or a few emotional moments thrown in, though over the years wondered why there wasn't any more show like this, at least none for me. Matthew Parry's passing away pointed finger at an emotional dungeon created by his absence. The ordinary, the average, the unheard, the insignificant...he was just that... and isn't that many of us.... Many of us not so flamboyant ones aren't we all Chandler Bings with our complexes, dreams to get into the cool club, complications with parents, fear of being not accepted, trauma of being bullied ! Chandler told our story subtly which we hardly realised. We loved cute Rachael, finicky Monica, crazy Phoebe, nerdy Ross, dunce Joey but Chandler...he was so us...just one of us.

I am not a Mathew Parry fan to write about him. But I've watched Friends, all seasons, all episodes ( might have missed a few because I watched on Tv and not OTT) multiple times and each time found something new to laugh about! I had laughed unplugged, adored Joey, Ross, admired Rachael, Monica but it was the actor's passing away made me feel how like all I also could not notice the ordinary. Someone who's there always to laugh heartily, admire, listen how we miss such a person often in life. Is it that we have many Chandler Bings in our lives yet we do not know them or realise their worth after their absence! I don't know really! His absence as if is a call for us...let us pause and listen...to the ones who only suppress, who are there for us...let us be there for them!

Chandler Bing celebrated ordinariness, awkwardness, embraced his fallacies, was a friend, the friend we all wish to have and yet fail to be his when needed. He was also the lover, the husband nobody could think of! Yeah it's only a show, but a show about not our filmy heroes, a show about struggling people emotionally, financially, a show about emotions, sentiments under the beautiful wrap of laughter and fun. Chandler Bing is only a character, but a character like us, fears, frustrations, being ordinary, being insignificant , unable to open up...he made being average real cool. That's why like many I'm reeling under a vaccum wave, of missing the ordinary, insignificant but a friend to fall back to.

Let us not miss the Chandler Bings in our lives! They might just be there and we didn't notice, they might be in pain and we are unable to fathom! Let's celebrate being ordinary, being unpopular, being alone in a group...let's celebrate being introvert and let's try to lend our heart to all the Chandler Bing s around! Like Joey staring wistfully at the vacant recliner by his side...the friend we love, we will always love!

RIP

Girls on the move!

Well, Rakhi , Story Berry creator , gave me the idea! ' Soma you go on Girl Trips...do write about that! How does it feel! ' She showed me a Times of India clipping for Women's Day with the caption 'Girls on the move'

To begin with I'm a travel freak and honestly most bongs are! With a humble budget and humbler needs bongs travel around the country with an enthu which is hard to match! 'Girl trips' though so in now, born in a family of fiery, independent women, wasn't something new to me, something I had embarked on hardly when I was twelve !

Tryst with Indian Railways... journey in Awadh Assam express!

My first Girls trip was with my aunt, her friend and me. Both independent, single women and the twelve year old naive me set out for a rather prolonged, complicated train journey from Guwahati to Jhansi. My uncle was posted at Shivpuri, Madhya Pradesh and we were supposed to join him there. What a ride it had been in a fateful train called ' Awadh Assam' , where our seat was booked in a ladies coup which actually had a functional door in the sleeper class! Not to speak of the broken glass of the toilet window which had men leering from the platform. The train had a special compartment which was left over by the parent Awadh Assam at Gorakhpur junction, where the compartment was shunted through out the night by some stray engine as we whined with pricking mosquito stings! In the wee morning the stray compartment was picked up by some other Bombay bound train ( name I can't recall) and finally I think around day three we reached Jhansi at late night! Well uncle was there in the station with a fauji vehicle! Imagine all this without any phone call only may be some letter before the journey! 

Himachal Highs:

My second girls trip was again with my Bubu (Bua) and another of her fiesty friend. One hell of a travel freak she was! Manu Pishi was well read, well versed and planned a Himachal Pradesh trip with exquisite detailing...I mean without any internet, just reading Bengali travel magazines, travelogues! She gave an insight into Himachal Pradesh like as they say not as a tourist but as a traveller! With places such as Bharmor , Chamba in our itinerary, it was a journey into the heaven!

Me and Bubu at Manali

🤭🤭

Meghalaya Magic:

Next I remember when I worked as a teacher at Barapani, my friend came over and we had a blast! Morning I used to make sandwiches with cheese before going to school and pack them for breakfast and leave some for her. Afternoon when I was back from school, I had a warm lunch waiting for me with innovative dishes! One innovative cook she is...and we relished each others culinary skills merrily!

Me and buddy Monalisa at Nehru Park, Umiam... Girls just love to swing! 

For believers she and me have promised each other a DDLJ trip to the Swiss Alps may be sometime in the next year! Well as they say...the world thrives on hope...

Twining in tea garden....

Bubu was my window to freedom! My first solo trip was a journey to Jorhat by bus to her place. Freedom tasted exotically delicious! Later I went with my friend to Jorhat, though memories aren't overtly sweet, but it was refreshing and counted as one of my beginner independent trips.

When we twined!

Barapani Bliss!

My one year stay at Barapani again with my, daughter, household help with my current job gave me an entire year to explore a world... unique and unscathed. My Malayali colleague and I sneaked in to the heavenly city of Shillong for some delectable food, shopping and a taste of the pine filled hills! So we had these all girls trip once in a while with a toddler at toes !

Singapore Swag!

Ok those were filter less, mobile less, social media less days where I wasn't that financially stable. Later when I joined my present job and was doing fairly well, me and my colleague turned friend embarked into our first foreign trip. I was almost frustrated hearing anecdotes of husband's work travel all over the world. So some guilt trips not withstanding, we headed for Singapore in a jumbo brimming with excitement and enthusiasm unplugged! That trip made us like we were out in the world, I remember my friend tracing the movement of Singapore Airlines flight in the display screen minutely as I had dozed off in the flight after a hectic night duty. The Singapore journey gave us an insight into waiting patiently in queues at metro stations, public restrooms, user friendly public transport, not to claim the reserved seat for the senior citizens in metros even if it remains vacant! Also Singapore was the place where we shopped in H&M first before it came to India. A trip of many ' firsts' for us!

Mount Abu Moments!

Well I didn't find the place picturesque at all and overly religious for my taste but we four girls had a blast! Though initially it was a ladies trip from office, we broke free and made it our own!

Masti @ Mount Abu

In the land of Greek Gods!

After a hiatus, my friend getting hitched, transferred to another corner of the country, her infant daughter...we came together again for a short trip to Greece! Boy it was fun! She had planned each detail and we were on our own in the country from day one. From staying at BnBs , to raving at the guards before Greek Parliament, to whom we foolishly asked what was this building and why people are crowding here! In reply we got a stern look and a curt answer that it was the Parliament! I mean from the land of Lutyens Delhi, this seemed a fledgling in kindergarten ! And patting my friend when she tried to hide the tell tale bra strap, ' Girl this is Greece! Let the bra strap show! Chill!' 

Mykonos, Santorini took us through the Bollywood songs we grew up with. While my mad penchant to click pics with Bougainville in the white blue doors as I saw in blogs was hilarious 😆. and yes the shock we had visiting a nude beach at Mykonos! How we called our spouses from there, how they panicked, ' Get away from here!' Both the spouses shrieked in different phones! How I told my friend ' I'm not going to leave ' and settled comfortably in the couch on the sand to watch the spectacle!

Goa Gang!

This trip was just before covid and there was days and months of terror and confinement after that. Five colleagues/ friends painted the town in Goa with those short dresses, shorts, casino visits for the first time! Five of us were different, eccentric yet we rocked ...there was faction yet we sprung back and hit it high!

The Land of Leh...

Covid was weaning off after the invasive second wave, that was when me and my partner decided for Leh. This was to be our third one after Singapore and Greece, our first desi one. And what a terrain it was, domineering formidable mountains, rivers from the beginning of civilization, Leh had us totally laid! High altitudes, pristine lakes, tough terrains, arid deserts..Leh had it all.

Leh was the true Shangri La to the core beckoning us to an ancient wonderland!

Jai Mata Di !

My latest trip was with a friend who isn't that keen traveler but a superfit trekker who wanted to do a Vaishno Devi visit. Yes I have nothing to do with temple visits yet since nothing was cooking up I agreed readily and added Patnitop to the itinerary to spice up the trip. We explored a bit of Jammu, relished some local cuisines, visited Vaishno Devi ( I also made a reel Chalo bulawa aaya hain!) and Patnitop welcomed us with loads of snow. The stay at JKTDC cottage was gruesome, where we were stuck in an isolated cottage amidst dense deodars in a dilapidated room with an eerie chowkidar present around one hundred metres away at least that's what he said! It was an experienced of a lifetime with dirty bed linen , fungal curtains, spooky forest, we danced the evening away. My friend slept off, I had the deodars prying through the ventilator all night! Next day we checked out and shifted to an army guest house my friend's brother had arranged! But that didn't dampen our spirit, a bright and sunny day in the snow and the welcoming deodars in the morning!

As I always say at the end of such trips I return a few years younger, more carefree and silly than I already was, a healthier heart bursting with joy and loads of anecdotes for my daughter and for all other women who'd have loved to take such trips! And yes you dress, make up without much judgement, you let your hair down and chill! Yes you do have some girl fights as well at times with a dash of ego or factions. But who cares!

Girls are on the move! The world is at our feet....just need to take the first step.

The Himalayan Hangover... Harshil

As usual we had discussed and pondered over our travel plans before we embarked on this journey. Harshil wasn't my first choice, I was looking for some lush green valleys in Himachal but then settled quietly succumbing to my husband and his friend's enthusiasm. They kept watching blogs , finalised the cottage after we blocked our dates.

Apart from planning mine and daughter's attire, contemplating the chill there, rescheduling dates because of personal, professional commitments I didn't do much of research, I usually depend on others for that.... but followed posts and pictures shared on different groups. Bit of googling told me Ram Teri Ganga Maili was shot there.. gradually I was gearing up for the trip. Husband was raving about ' Gartang Gali ' and ' Neylong Valley ' and was busy arranging passes for all five of us. As usual I didn't pay  much heed as he can be really excited for weird things! Though Gartang Gali seemed intriguing some ancient wooden staircase beside river Bhagirathi and into the mountains...the staircase used to be old Indo Tibet route for trade. We were ready after lots of upheavals on the personal front and started for Jolly Grant, Dehradun for night stay in one Friday afternoon, reason for choosing Jolly Grant was to avoid the maddening rush in Rishikesh.

Day 1: Gurgaon to Jolly Grant, Dehradun
The drive was uneventful except that it was the beginning of a coveted trip and we chatted and stopped for tea, I played loads of eighties songs which we hummed together. As usual roped in so
me drama , by urging Dada to stop for a roadside sunset in the farm fields.

Jain Shikanji turned out to be pretty ordinary

Jolly Grant stay was comfortable, cosy with excellent food at a hotel named MJ Suites. We had a fabulous dinner before slumping off to bed. Next day we were prepared for a marathon drive after a hearty breakfast at the hotel.

Day 2: Jolly Grant to Awana Cottage, Sukki

We knew it would be a long tedious drive but so long really! With my daughter and friend not feeling well, aggravated things a little more! But then the Himalayas!

Stopping at roadside joints first for tea and some awesome milk rusks which we loved so much that we bought the entire jar from the shop 🫣! The husband had glared as me and Dada swooned over the rusk and bought the entire jar much to the shopkeeper and the other associates' shock!

Beautiful Tehri!

Next stop was near Dharasu, which had a helipad nearby. We had Maggi and some fiercely oily fries!

By the time we reached Uttarkashi, we were a bit exhausted but the thrill of what lies ahead kept me beaming! Besides the first sight of Bhagirathi was like meeting with the myth... mountains on its side, we were on the gateways of real ' Devbhoomi ' where myths and gods played with the mountains and rivers! Registration because of ' Char Dham' yatra was a bit tedious, I think it can be done online as well, would save one from the hassles. The drive from Uttarkashi though was smooth, it was getting dark and narrow stretches made us wait for the vehicles from the opposite side. Besides the darkness gives the feeling of getting delayed and made us a bit paranoid among the mountains! Are we going to reach really!

It was almost nine when we reached Awana Cottage and it was chilly outside. We had no idea on the view save the gigantic dark mountains standing tall as sentinels! The resort manager kept in touch with us as kitchen would close by ten! And I had no wish to starve at night! Food was warm and veg as expected and we conspired how we'd convince the owner to get some non veg food the day after!

Day 3 : Into the mountains... Gartang Gali and Neylong Valley

Morning was amazing with spectacular views that we had watched for the first time! Streams, springs flowing through the distant mountain, sound of the stream near by , also buzzing choppers for Gangotri.

View from Awana Cottage

Harshil

Bhaironghati

Amazing Neylong Valley near China border

For those for whom mountains are well.. mountains, they might not find the valley worth a visit amidst all the defence people and not much to explore after getting those expensive passes for self and vehicle. Entries and loitering is quite restricted there. We found the view spectacular but yes would have loved more! Husband also informed you can get passes for the Naga Valley ahead...that must be more exclusive!

Lunch was near the wayside bus stand. Roti/sabji, Maggi...was a bit dusty but the simple warm food made us overlook as we set for the much awaited Gartang Gali.

We huffed and puffed as usual as we started the trek. Both husband and me swore silently this is the last time...with rebelling knees and heart literally trying to jump out of chest. But then Bhagirathi and the mountains and the whisper of the river! My daughter's remark ' Maa the sound of the river... amazing na'...indeed the sound of the singing river echoed deep as we moved into the depth of the mountains!

Renovated Gartang Gali... ancient trading route to Tibet

With such a stage and mountains and river as the audience... husband was set for some drama.

The trek took us around two and half hours and we relaxed with Maggi and tea wayside after that. Dinner was chicken that we bought from Harshil gaon and cooked in our cottage. It was home style cooked and we savoured it after a long day.

Day 4: Harshil and Gangotri

Sometimes weird plans make it super fun. Such was my idea of draping saree with my friend and convinced our spouses for a half day photo session besides the river! We stumbled in the uneven pebbles, posed , bathed ourselves in the dust blowing across the river and giggled like girls. Wind played haywire with our hair and dust crunched through gritted teeth! Well Instagram reels can't be more unrealistic! Actually husbands did co-operate and shot some reels...who could imagine!

My favourite from the trip

We flaunted our sarees, shot reels. I did team saree with a pair of sneakers!

Lunch was at a local joint in Harshil village. We had delectable mutton momos which were washed away fast and yummy egg noodles. Locals do have non veg, only in Gangotri it's vegetarian without onion, garlic. After lunch we started for Gangotri around 30 km from Harshil village.

Not being religious minded, I shy away from temples and public religious gatherings and also dread long queues of devotees! But Gangotri with mighty mountains standing tall as sentinels guarding the river flowing from their womb was mystic , majestic and overwhelming! It could transport the soul to ages behind in search of self! I was reminded of Edmund Hilary's ' Journey into the mountains ', from my class ten English Rapid reader, the journey from Gangasagar to Gaumukh, from inception to oblivion the story of the river. Luckily the crowd was sparse and I could soak in the river flowing from the mountains! Also marvel at Gauri Kund and Suraj Kund!

Gauri Kund

Suraj Kund

After a long day, the drive towards Awana Cottage seemed extraordinary long after picking up raw mutton from Harshil for dinner. The chefs arranged a fabulous mutton and we slumped into bed after shower. Needless to say tonnes of dust and sand accumulated within hair and face which needed a massive struggle for a wash! Perks of running after insta reels!

Day 5: Drive to Rishikesh

It wasn't easy leaving Harshil! The terrain was mystic, majestic, magnificent. The drive to Rishikesh was picturesque with springs at every other curve...so true to the lyrics of the Ram Teri Ganga Maili song, ' Chote chote jharne hain...ke jharno ke paani chukar kuch waade karne hain!'

I longed for some green meadows, ' bugyal' as they call it...

Beautiful Jacaranda on the way

When we stopped for tea

I was gazing lazily out of the window near Chamba, humming ' Parbat ke peeche Chambera gaon hain, gaon mein do premi rahte hain!' I remarked to husband, ' You know after the Harshil mountains, I can't pay attention to these hills of Chamba, my favourite picture postcard village, the hills seem you know babies!:

' Oh the Chamba mountains really got dejected by your remark! ' the husband sneered!


We reached Rishikesh at around nine, checked in to a hotel near Laxman Jhula, at the heart of the old city. The view from the balcony was soothing, the river, mountains and the temple. Though it was hot and humid, we were inside the room just staring at the river, weaning off vacation hangover slowly.

Day 6: Rishikesh to Gurgaon

Morning sight of the river and mountains was a breather to the soul.

Breakfast was sumptuous at German Bakery near the now closed Laxman Jhula. We ordered for Spaghetti Aglio Olio, Banana Crepes and they just tasted awesome.

Potato cheese croquettes

We loitered in the old lanes for some shopping. Junk jewelleries, fridge magnets, few bohemian tops and dresses! Finally some shopping in the trip...as my mother had remarked hearing about our stay away from the civilization, ' This time it seems you'd return without any useless shopping you do!' I didn't disappoint my mother 😜.

The drive to Gurgaon was uneventful as we reeled from the Himalayan hangover!