Ashima's eyes were on the mobile, as usual. Her hair tied in a bun, legs parted slightly, hinting at the creamy flesh of thighs beneath her dress, tummy bulging out of her dress slightly, maybe more so as she was stooping comfortably, relaxed... sometimes her eyes on the road, sometimes flipping channels of FM. Anuj glanced sideways at her screen, was a chat box open..he jerked his eyes off her phone and looked at the road ahead... Did he really doubt her after all these years...his partner, his wife, mother of his newly teen daughter, his friend, beautiful sex they shared!
He felt himself stir, thinking of the last time they...did he make her happy? Obviously, he does, the way she screams out, his inside was stirring again, he fixed his eyes on the road, but did she want more...They are in their mid-forties, and he makes her happy most of the time, then why does he have the feeling she wants more... more than he's able to give.
He's overthinking obviously! Wife of fifteen years, decades of sex, and at this age can a woman want more! But then who writes these rules that libido wears off with age, theirs didn't, in fact, sex got better with age, the nuances of the act were just at their best! Ashima wasn't bored or uninterested in the act, in fact, their camaraderie, and sexual comfort had grown along with their relationship. He knew when she had an orgasm...but it wasn't always like that! Well, porn helped, but didn't divulge all the secrets, the way you could win over a woman, get access to her deepest feelings, touch her on the spot where she squeals with pleasure and fulfillment!!
Why was his mind wandering uselessly! Ashima raised her eyes from her mobile and was speaking something about the party they were returning from, he joined in the conversation out of his reverie. Of late, the doubt in his mind, preserved silently after he caught her chatting with a stranger within the first year of their marriage, resurfaced sometimes, the reason he was not sure of! After all these years, after all they have been through and all they have shared, did he dread he would snoop in some sort of intimate chat or some literary or musical sweet nothings? His mouth twisted in distaste, is this doubt that he overlooked and neglected all these years, is this because of Sunaina, his new junior who joined his workplace a few months back?
Anuj never had a girlfriend in his life and much to his wife's dismay there was hardly anyone he ever wanted! He wanted friends, booze, a career, and sports, but liking someone wasn't in his scheme of things, loving, yearning, and dating did not find many places either. Was he boring? Somehow he never felt so, standing up to his peers, pitting himself against them, he liked girls and sex but he never was the romantic kind. He was witness to many love affairs of his friends, patch-ups, and fights but his hands were always full, carrying the weight of his father's hugely successful rapport in the small town of theirs. Life and partnership were about responsibility and caring. Meeting Ashima as a bridal prospect did not make him fall in love of course, but she was funny and interesting and they could strike in conversations for long.
Soon they were dating, having long chats over the phone and it was obvious they were going to be hitched soon. The initial days were turbulent, living under the same roof, well he had no idea how to go about it. He had seen it smooth with his parents, his Baba used to take classes in Medical College and was busy practicing other times, and his mom managed all other stuff from managing finances to new constructions to acquiring new property to set up the motor for water availability, from their PTMs to their tiffins, she was just the one answer to every question under the sun. She was the pillar of their support and he has hardly ever seen his parents fight.
Here he didn't know at all how to handle the dynamite & volatile woman called his wife, bursting with temper, a plethora of allegations, yet calming down after a few minutes, smiling at times. Women! How does one handle them really! They fought tooth and nail, patched up, had god sex, and well that chatting incident which maybe was the outcome of his excessive tours, dilemma before joining a new job, his physical absence from her life, well that's how he had explained and moved on! But had she... He didn't always care, job... immense pressure, boss, so much on his plate! Wife chatting away with a stranger...did this demand so much of his attention really! Besides after Saina's birth, when he was finally back from his on site assignments and she from her remote posting, they were finally building a family, building love, trust, friendship. She wasn't the epitome of caring wife and mother but she was fun to be with inspite of their repeated bickering!
So what changed now, with Sunaina's advent in his office and his life... First time at this juncture of his career and age, Anuj was a bit relaxed. Yes he had many female colleagues earlier but flirtatious exchanges and romance was never on the card for him. Though he felt Ashima was his opposite, she enjoyed all the male attention and company, she was honest about many things, may be the things she felt she could be upright about. Sharing his first cuppa with Sunaina at office, they discussed about work, about life and someone as blunt as Anuj as Ashima would allege sometimes was aware of the undercurrent between them and actually began to love it. Sometimes the serious man in him wondered was she distracting him from his career, the career he built with each drop of his sweat, he did not have big business schools to his name, only his hard work and grit. And Sunaina got that. Anuj was hopeless at texting, typing in Hinglish, for the first time he wanted to try...and Sunaina got that too.
From then on he sometimes wondered..is that how you cheat...he looked at Ashima more closely, like him was she comfortable somewhere else! It was nonsense he was conjuring up! Her love for literature, music which he did not relate at all like she didn't relate to his penchant for career from her secured government job!
They were driving in to the basement, Ashima was still talking about the party, raving about someone she met, Anuj listened half heartedly... smiling sometimes. Fifteen long years...he stared into her eyes and the slight patch of sindoor not at all matching with her LBD, he grabbed her hand at the elevator.'What...' Ashima looked back curiously.
'Nothing' he dragged her along arm in her waist.
'It's awfully late...not tonight ' Ashima tried to sound sane.
'As if you care' his eyes twinkled!
Her eyes answered the twinkle in his eyes. There's a life beyond mobiles and virtual world, a life where man and woman bond, have sex, raise a child, fight, live....like caveman! Another life, another chance it would be Ashima only and was it the same for her...
Well Anuj wasn't sure! Maybe another fifteen years down the lane he'd know...
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