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Monday, 30 April 2012

All about us...

Dear Ninni

We had a long break.. you and me..literally this time it was you and me most of the times with your father popping in for a guest entry in late evenings ;), well that was not exactly intended to be sarcastic..your father did try.. to be with you as long as possible..and you also enjoyed the company of your father and all the mall hoppings and the glitz and glamour of the city.

How was it..you and me together..terrific, fabuluous..we got along like ' house on fire'.. errr no baby..first impression.. it was tough..very tough handling you alone..one of the primary reasons being your aversion to food..food of any kind and how it can drive any patient person nuts waiting indefinitely with a plate and spoon ,for you to gulp down a single helping while you give your ' know-it-all' smiles watching Doraemon,s antics and I am ..well I am me , though my father tried hard.. patience and me are world apart.

Among other things you aren,t that cumbersome..you would play , watch TV on your own and yes there goes my guilt for sneaking out my own time which I have I would rather not say ' wasted' on browsing through various blogs..( wait there,s a name for that I think ' blogrolling') ,I let you watch TV..something I forbid your pishi ( the woman friday) to do ,but I did the same thing, the easiest thing to get you off me. Ah sounds so bad..I know I should have given you more time with your books and learning..instead chose to feed you on a staple diet of Chota Bheem , Doraemon and Krishna... well some mommies are not so perfect and you are also blessed with one. Apart from that, when I left you alone with the idiot box, in commercial breaks you would  remember your maa or may be the loneliness of the room, you would come to me and as soon as you see my netbook first thing you shoot is ' Maa la la lori'.. as if laptop is meant for youtube.. and if I cannot distract you.. we start with ' La la lori' ( our hot favourite), ' Lakdi ki kathi', ' Chanda Hain Tu' ( You also love the remix version which comes in the ad..and hum four-five lines when you are in a good mood and I being me love the Sharmila Tagore version), then move on to rhymes.. ' twinkle twinkle'( now you point out stars as twinkle twinkle),' Jingle Bells' and finally when I have had enough..I let you alone with ' Kishnaa' ( My God the song ' o Krishnaaa..o Raadha' Hrithik looking  brawny Krishna singing for the coy Radha in Jamuna kinare!!)  then ' Ganesha' if you ask for more ,by then I have shifted to all the pending newspapers I have stuffed for catching up.

For a while we are in our separate worlds..you ' you tube' ,me books or you in TV ,me in blogs and facebook though the feeling of a strange silence between two persons in the same room creeps in.. and I try to communicate to you in between..connect with ' kishna'  and when you start your normal babbling ' Ma dekhaa kishnaa..' I leave you alone again.. I think the more you grow up the more will be the desolation procedure  to the point I would not be able to connect and communicate anymore nor would you entertain me prying into your world let alone sharing the fun and excitement..sad huh..but these are days far ahead..as of now..you are all over me leaning climbing squealing shrieking and if I push you apart  when you get too much..and you get upset..little tickling is all you need to burst into laughter again. Simple days..aren,t they you don,t need to break your heads on ego, pride, peer pressure..little hug and a bit of coochy cooing and manhandling.. for an hour of neglect and you are  all mine again.

We are back again at my place of work..( I could not complete the blog in Delhi) and you being very pragmatic or our parenting made you so..you have accepted my going to ' office; as a normal part of life, but still I see that tinge of sadness in the eyes when you wake up and do not find me by your side, or when I come back home the shine of joy in your eyes...matter of few days you would adjust again ..but these days you would stand outside the bathroom door waiting for me to come..and you are just ' ma ma'  all over.. Yes that makes me happy but irritates most of the times when you do not leave me alone and I just hate when you start pulling my hair and yell in pain.Yes  being a mother is tough..but you know.. you get the love and attention one yearns for whole life and believe me it is almost for free.. For stealing  love from your parents you have to prove yourself as you grow up, from teachers you have to doubly prove, from friends you have to give all your time and yourself to be accepted, from partner you have to give every damn thing in you vying for attention...but this love comes from you just like that..I don,t know how long it would be like that..  before may be you would also put a price tag in each kiss you plant me..new outfit, new game, permission to go out ( if you would ever ask)..

But then why bother..now that again I have you dragging me to watch CBeebies leaving my blog undone..wonder how other mothers do it so superbly..

Yours Ma