Holiday...

Whats app icon was blinking...another message. I tried not to look at my smart phone and concentrate on my senior. Nodding in affirmative was the key and I did just that.

Hi...what's going on

My message inbox hurled out the words at me as soon as senior was gone. The words were shy, staring at me beneath their long lashes just the way it happened in the Himalayas, foothills of Himalayas rather. Fingers ached to reply..and wait for her reply..Come on what's stopping me...

Nothing much.. missing the Himalayan evenings!

Fingers shot back..would it have the exact effect I wanted..it would..this little hide and seek game with a few words can do wonders and I was good at it. I knew what she would be reading into this..and I knew she'd be wanting for more. Well so long..I was winding my day at work and about to leave the office when the phone rang. Just stared at the number I have known so well, few years now...and wondered at my aversion to pick it up...men...we get bored !Mechanically I picked up the call as I headed towards the elevator.

You are out of office... more a statement than question... Good I'll be there in five minutes

Before I could say much, elevator was there in my floor and all of us waiting stormed in , Divya.. my steady girl friend and to be wife..whom I won out of so many contenders in college hung up. I was about to stuff the phone in my pocket..the chirping of whats app message...I knew the sender, my eyes sparkled in delight as I contemplated her next message, before actually opening it!! 

Are you... 

Two words..yes I am missing the Himalayan evenings damn it.. Just before reaching the parking lot I typed in a hurry...

Aren't you...

How long I will continue this nonsense.. my car sped through the evening city traffic.

The Himalayas, where I went exactly... Dalhousie.. a long due holiday with mom and dad. And there I met her, so young.. fresh...travelling with her aunts. Whose idea was to share the cab I don't remember...nevertheless I was very happy..she had this innocence and that small town look..and I was looking for a nice weekend. The mountains of Dalhousie..anyone would fall in love there..and I was just...well I am a man. The same hotel, and as I was sent to knock at their door to inform that cab was ready...I almost stopped breathing as the door was opened by this...morning beauty to say the least. Obviously I didn't remember much of Dalhousie after that...who would...and I knew this Happy-Go-Luckyness of mine is a sure winner..well I had someone like Divya all over me...and this one would be an easy task. Aah I'm not flirty and selfish as I sound, I knew it would happen with anybody...and winning over each woman was a victory..every woman is unique !Three days... I was taken over by Anwesha.. even the name spelled magic. Dalhousie, Chamba, Khajjiar...and I had more of Anwesha, wanted more of her.

Asking her number was easy, yet I fumbled.

In case I send you a friend request...  I had smiled nervously.

It's fun...this texting, waiting for her texts.. and finally I would call her. It isn't a crime... men even women get into such things...few texts and chats, one doesn't feel guilty because of this. That isn't the problem. Did I want Anwesha..

The light was green, and I whisked my car along. When we started me and Divya.. a few years back..there was this magic of love..we longed for each other,we still do may be but that spell is gone..and i wonder after years of togetherness and under the wheel of ' real life'...where we would stand.

Once way back in childhood ,I got a pine sapling from the hills during a school trip. I planted it at our backyard and watered it regularly. It withered after a few weeks

' Pines do not survive at an altitude less than 3000 feet, son. They are made for the hills'   Dad had explained.

Indeed. Some things are made for the hills, for the holidays... they would wither in plains like my moments with Anwesha.

My car took the service road where I could see Divya waiting impatiently as I pressed delete to erase the chats.

Encounter

Scary. Crimson hues of late evening underlined the sky, as I wandered alone trying to master all the courage I had. The distant light was a hope, the last hope I had for a sane shelter at night. I quickened my steps  scampering towards the light, and a dimly visible… can I call it a house… Well it was turning out to be one... at least some water, may be a cup of tea, my hopes soared high..

A sort of house I have seen in Himalayan travelogues. Thatched roof, wooden stairs and was that…yes a lantern…Day’s fatigue loomed over me as I tried to bridge the gap between me and the doorstep yelling....’ Someone inside’ …I threw my backpack at the door step, banging on the door now.

‘Please help. I lost my way…on to a hiking trip. Just a place for the night’

I could hear the noise of the bolt…finally.

Well from a B Grade horror movie a lady appeared with a lantern, only twist being she wasn’t the old witch style white outfitted one nor the strikingly pretty damsel who seduces you out of nowhere. I found myself staring at the bespectacled eyes of around.. .difficult to guess a woman’s age really well let me settle at fifty.

‘Come in’ The steady eyes studied me for a moment before stepping aside.

                                           

My whole body crumbled under fatigue as I settled myself on a mat I could find on the floor not daring to touch the nicely made if it could be called bed, a piece of timber supported by four legs, nevertheless a mattress, a pillow , a blanket…I stared enviously. She came with a glass of water and a jug, waited patiently as I gulped down a couple of glasses, asking for more.

She handed me over another mug of water, ‘Manage with this to wash your hand and face… water is scarce here’

I obeyed her and then fidgeting for my sanitizer went in for a surprise as she handed me one.  The fire beneath the mud chulha and sound of steaming water bubbles…tea it will be, somehow resisted licking my tongue.

Well tea and dry chapattis. I mumbled thanks and gulped one with another hungrily, remembering to smile at her in between in gratitude. She was kneading the dough for more chapattis as I finished hungrily how many I lost count and licked the last bit of mango pickle she served me. I was coming to my senses, this woman in the middle of nowhere roasting chapattis for me with her not-so-deft hands…

I gulped the left over tea... ‘You saved me’ I smiled.

‘I think I did’ She smiled back. Was she pretty when young…pretty and hot…

My eyes did a quick X Ray as head kept abusing…’ Pervert’

‘Thanks a lot, that will be enough I guess’ I pointed to the heap of dough, ‘For now’

‘ Sure?’ She handed me two more , ‘ Some more tea then’

I was taking in the room now, actually wanted to take out my cam and click. But refrained because of… may be her formidable nature or may be already burdened with gratitude. Her neatly kept bed, well not too neat if you look closely. A newspaper with a half solved SUDOKU…interesting, books…some regional language not sure which, an English classic, a small radio beside the bed, a suitcase cloths scattered over it, some utensils, a bucket, a pair of slippers, a pair of sandals and some more books peeping from another bag, antacids, straps of medicines.

She came in with two glasses of tea now and a blanket for me.

‘Actually I lost my group after we started in morning, kept clicking’

‘Himalayas… if she calls you.. you just follow’ She smiled mysteriously

‘Did you’

For a moment she was taken aback… ‘No’

I stared at her. In college days there would be this talk ‘what-you-notice-about –her’ and if someone dared to say eyes, the entire group shrieking yelling  with laughter, would tear his hair off. I felt like saying ‘ eyes’ now, behind glasses, clear, amused and lost at times.

‘I am here because… wanted to be alone and in clear terms did not have any place back there’

Abandoned by children kind…she didn’t look so old though, I didn,t know what to ask so chose to wait.

‘Just got bored ' She appeared amused at my perplexity ‘Of the world...husband, daughter, parents, in laws, work, colleagues…’

‘In that order?’

A smile lit up her face… ‘ Hmmm’

‘And all this is easily manageable?’

‘Not really. Some villagers give me the supplies. A boy comes from village with water for the day and some days I walk up to the spring. I know a driver in the village who drives me to the city once in a while, sometimes daughter pays a visit loading me with stuffs I don’t need. Not very comfortable but it isn’t supposed to be.’ She paused.

‘But why here… I mean there are other places...’

‘I am not religious’ came the reply ‘ So that strikes off most of the options’

‘Interesting really’ Was she sane…for that matter I hope she is a real human.

Well apparitions don’t roast chapattis.

‘What do you do whole day’

‘Cook, clean, read, walk...sometimes walk to the village for some lessons to children. Tune my radio.’

                       

And I had to put in the obvious...’ Don’t you long for company?’

‘Who doesn’t?’ She rose.

‘And I have one tonight’ another mysterious smile.

That smile must have caught many in her prime time, and that hint of amusement cum subtle flirty throw..

‘You take rest, I'll make dinner’

I was happy she left , too much for a day, Himalayas, getting lost, this ghostly lady with the lamp, I slumped in the mat with the blanket over me, wanted the bed, her bed.. I was losing out...I simply wanted to sleep in her bed…

All sort of nightmares or dreams I could not make out…could see Jayathi my on and off girl friend struggling to get into the tiny bed with me, me staring at a young woman smiling mysteriously, a hungry woman… hungry for me. Villagers yelling ‘ She is a witch , witch… run, run for your life, she will have you’

I tried to shriek, could not connect to my voice chord, gestured frantically... finally with a jerk woke up. My eyes shot at the empty bed above.

Noo… I covered my head with hands … .Witch , ghost.. that’s what I encountered… huh pay the price for straying.. carry this terror all my life.. I got up in distaste and disgust.

Almost dark outside, or we can call it dawn.. a stray bird chirping occasionally, the terrifying empty bed and all other assembled stuff, I dragged myself out of the door.. Damnn.. i wasn’t in my senses last night…but another part spoke out Robin Hood kind of witch. I blinked in the semi darkness outside… run Kunall run...i remembered Tom Hanks in Forest Gump, my throat dry, senses numb with fear.

I licked my lips nervously as I stared back at the mysterious gloomy house, my fingers white clenching the strap of my back pack.

What was that…. I think I will faint now… a shadow appearing from backyards… not any more please… But as it was I stayed glued there...Himalayas when they beckon…who told me that..

The witch appeared in person, emerging out of darkness a bucket and a mug in hand!

‘Good Morning’

I admit ‘Good morning’ was the last thing in my mind then.

‘Actually here you finish the routine tasks early in the morning, almost end of night’

Seeing my utter numbness she spoke again

‘You know open spaces...’ For once she too seemed unsure what to say.

She stared at my backpack.

‘I thought.. I mean if I start early… will give me time to find them’ Words stumbled one after another.

Her brows joined for a second. ‘Sure’

‘ May be I can leave after some tea …and  the ‘ tasks’” I smiled impishly.

She smiled and went in.

I left after an hour.

 ‘Do you … wait for someone?’

‘ I wish I could’

‘Are you … what they call .. detached?’

The deep eyes clouded for a second; ‘No’ She looked at me... ‘If there’s an odd knock at any odd time, for a moment..’ She smiled… ‘ I would think here is a man.. I would talk to, tune my radio together, listen to old songs, or sit quietly and listen to the rain drops and….’ The mysterious smile again ‘Many things… which is quite out of detached category’ she concluded with a wide grin.

I could not but grin myself.

I joined my group later in evening. Something stopped me to burst in excitement …. reveal my ‘ encounter’.  Only in some weird nights I would remember the tiny cosy wooden bed and dream of its occupant.

Yours...

Dear Ashish

I wanted to be yours and only yours.  But...these buts in our life...and those ifs.. Sometimes i feel i moved on too fast and once i started moving on...well i never looked back i guess. Ashish.. present is what makes my life, true i shed tears for you, wrote those silly verses, heard those senti songs over and over again, would ring your number from any phone booth i can find...but then i got this job and left our small town. Once out in the proper world, there was this whiff of success and eyes of men...i had so many men vying for attention..may be i had no peers and i enjoyed all that to the full. And that was when i guess i stopped waiting for your calls or our chat sessions.. you know live men staring and admiring you.. was i so men hungry kind beneath my humble veneer..i might have been...

I was bedazzled by my new life and you no longer held the key to my dreams and hence your charm was loosening its grip on me. Then those misunderstandings...your estranged wife and a dark future with you... sometimes i used to be just fed up and began to enjoy life in the city thoroughly. And one fine day we broke up... we had major hitches before too and each time i felt i just could not make it without you. But this time it was so easy... yes i would admit it was Saurav whose message occupied my inbox and whose number dominated my call logs... and when the break up was official i was more relieved than anything. I hardly shed any tears, Saurav and i got along so well...but Saurav did not want a messed up me and as per his plans he was out of the country after a few months. I don,t know how my boyfriends get international..am i the lucky charm!! I got over Saurav as well.. a few days of shock and see i was again alive and kicking.

I saw a few more men and finally settled down. People say first love and its magic... they haunt you but nothing like that happened with me..i started absolutely afresh...even fell for someone after a couple of years of marital bliss and after the initial turmoil got over that as well. Ashish should i blame you for everything...my dreams love when nothing came near to reality and i moved from one to another...or should i be thankful that we broke up and finally i could lead my life. Had we been together would i be a different person...still dreamy and yours.. totally, fully yours..

Sometimes i wonder... and still love the independent person i have become...

Yours.... i could have been all yours...

Yet i am...

Tanya

Holiday

Whats app icon was blinking...another message. I tried not to look at my smart phone and concentrate on my senior. Nodding in affirmative was the key and i did just that.

Hi...what,s going on

My message inbox hurled out the words at me as soon as senior was gone. The words were shy, staring at me beneath their long lashes just the way it happened in the Himalayas, foothills of Himalayas rather. Fingers ached to reply..and wait for her reply..Come on what,s stopping me...

Nothing much.. missing the Himalayan evenings

Fingers shot back..would it have the exact effect i wanted..it would..this little hide and seek game with a few words can do wonders and i was good at it. I knew what she would be reading into this..and i knew she,d be wanting for more. Well so long..i was winding my day at work and about to leave the office when the phone rang. Just stared at the number i have known so well, few years now...and wondered at my aversion to pick it up...men...we get bored...but mechanically i picked up the call as i headed towards the elevator.

You are out of office... more a statement than question... Good i,ll be there in five minutes

Before i could say much, elevator was there in my floor and all of us waiting stormed in. Divya.. my steady girl friend and to be wife..whom i won out of so many contenders in college. I was about to stuff the phone in my pocket..the chirping of whats app message...i knew the sender, my eyes sparkled in delight as i contemplated her next message, before actually opening it!! 

Are you... 

Two words..yes i am missing the Himalayan evenings damn it.. Just before reaching the parking lot i typed in a hurry...

Aren,t you...

How long i will continue this nonsense.. my car sped through the evening city traffic.

The Himalayas, where i went exactly... Dalhousie.. a long due holiday with mom and dad. And there i met her, so young.. fresh...travelling with her aunts. Whose idea was to share the cab...nevertheless i was very happy..she had this innocence and that small town look..and i was going to have a nice weekend. The mountains of Dalhousie..anyone would fall in love there..and i was just...well i am a man. The same hotel, and as i was sent to knock at their door to inform that cab was ready...i almost stopped breathing as the door was opened by this...morning beauty to say the least. Obviously i didn,t remember much of Dalhousie after that...who would...and i knew this Happy-Go-Luckyness of mine is a sure winner..well i had someone like Divya all over me...and this one would be an easy task. Aah i,m not flirty and selfish as i sound, i knew it would happen with anybody...and winning over each woman was a victory..every woman is unique... Three days... i was taken over by Anwesha.. even the name spelled magic. Dalhousie, Chamba, Khajjiar...and i had more of Anwesha, wanted more of her.

Asking her number was easy, yet i fumbled.

In case i send you a friend request...  I had smiled nervously.

It,s fun...this texting, waiting for her texts.. and finally i would call her. It isn,t a crime... men even women get into such things...few texts and chats, one doesn,t feel guilty because of this. That isn,t the problem. Did i want Anwesha..

The light was green, and i whisked my car along. When we started me and Divya.. a few years back..there was this magic of love..we longed for each other,we still do may be but that spell is gone..and i wonder after years of togetherness and under the wheel of ' real life'...where we would stand.

Once way back in childhood , i got a pine sapling from the hills during a school trip. I planted it at our backyard and watered it regularly. It withered after a few weeks

' Pines do not survive at an altitude less than 3000 feet, son. They are made for the hills'   Dad had explained.

Indeed. Some things are made for the hills, for the holidays... they would wither in plains like my moments with Anwesha.

My car took the service road where i could see Divya waiting impatiently.

Email

Hi

I didn't think we will meet again...well I did...but in dreams !! Well, well no idea what you would be thinking about me and my cheesy lines but you know I had worried about that all through my school and college days and at least today I deserve to... you know open out...

Swati, I think you know or at least have known that I had a serious serious crush on you!! How I wish to see a smile on your lips as you read this. (Today I am going to take all the liberties and continue albeit shamelessly.) Our school i know you remember as well as i do , somehow studious students were a separate brand altogether and well left out and avoided by all!! I think we both were in the same category in different classes plus if you look thin and short like me and healthy and hearty like you ( you would not want to kill me for that would you!!) we should not even exist. But we did  you and me and so many like us... I don't know exactly when I knew I had this thing for you or those boys made me think that..but I was happy with it. Like me you were not a wanted species with the opposite sex, I always saw you with what were their names...can't recall really, either scribbling in class, or giggling among yourselves during lunch..three of you were hugely shy, awkward and under confident.Was i better off, not really but being a boy had its own advantages at least in those days.

You had and still have beautiful expressive eyes ( some boys knew about it)..and i think someone pointed that to me and from some day I began stealing glances . I know you never knew of that, you were in another world with those two girls I began to hate who would not let you alone though I had no idea what I would do alone.I continued like this for one year and then just after my school finals I had this fatal attack of typhoid , it was dreadful , guess  was you know about to die...lots of doctors, sadhus.. finally I was able to be on my own and you know I was in the same class as you!! We were in a bigger school then and you hardly knew me. I wondered so many times if you ever knew what happened to me and if you would ever come to see me...but I suppose the truth was you barely knew I existed. In the bigger school you looked a bit different, the awkwardness gone a bit and yes I have to say you looked beautiful...this time I made my presence felt to you in the pretext of lending some book through another guy of our class.( I simply told, tell her to come and take the book from me..boldest thing I ever did) After that I knew you were aware of me, I caught you staring at me...and you know you made me absolutely speechless and I think I stopped dead in the stairs one day...before you removed your eyes!! Do you remember Swati... I was certain of the look you gave me, gave me goosebumps but you know that tough exterior of yours...made me go numb. Swati I could not come near you...ahhh mobile, facebook, email...nothing was there in those days. When we had appeared for our exams, I knew I had very little time, I would lose you forever. And I did. I could not come to you.

I got admission in a good engineering college..though  I thought about you for many days but guess I had also grown up to be a charming man  still short and thin but there were girls I'd go out with and in some day I didn't realise I had actually stopped thinking about you. I had two very solid affairs and got married to my second girl friend. Somehow I never heard anything about you from anyone...upto a certain time when I visited our home town my eyes would look around frantically...if..if..i can see you. I knew you were studying in the same town, i'd visit our school sometimes...but you were not there. I,d turn the pages of my diary to find some verses where I could smell you or may be I can breathe in my first love..or let us say first crush. I also had this scene written down where we would meet in the future and I would see the emotions pouring from your eyes...I lost the diary finally as I lost you and began to live my life.

I came to the hospital for routine check up, as is my habit stuck up conversation with your grand daughter....don't get surprised..our hometown ,our school finally I asked her your name. I never knew Swati this was how we will meet. I followed her to your bed..you didn't recognize...infact you never recognized me Swati in school, college never. 

Is she dying

Your granddaughter gave me a stern look

She will fight back

Before I left, I asked her if you had any email id and after I got hold of your address...here I am.
Swati you will open this mail won't you...these are magic... mail and facebook and whatsapp had all those been there in our days...I'd have...I could have dared. You don't believe me do you.. Swati was it real... the way you looked at me..or your eyes were pretty..did you stare at me so intensely that I stopped right in the middle of the class...finally i,d get a reply. 

P.S Don't worry I am a very happy well settled man with two pairs of grand children and one lovely nagging wife.

Waiting for your reply

Yours... at least for a few years was all yours...
Sujan